It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a...

GIRL!???? Notice the three question marks at the end of that "statement". Dr. Yee was not willing to actually say we were having a girl. (He was mistaken on his own wife's ultrasound, and admitted that the ultrasound in his office was a fossil of a machine.) Instead he said, "I don't see anything." This statement leaves me to draw 2 conclusions:

1. We are having a little boy with an extremely small penis. (And from talking to my more experienced girlfriends, YES, size really DOES matter)

OR

2. We are having a girl with perfect proportions.

Now, I have to laugh at how this comedy of a doctor's appointment turned out. It took a little convincing to get Jason to come with me. I think seeing a gynecologist makes him nervous. (Seriously, try being on the receiving end!) That poor hubby of mine almost literally crapped himself. Why? Well, apparently, due to a lab error, our "Quad Screen" (a test that checks for Down's Syndrome, Neural Tube Defects, among other things) came up "positive for Trisomy 21." The dreaded Down's Syndrome. Yikes!

The "Quad Screen" is a useful tool, but it has it's drawbacks. The test is only accurate if you have an acurate due date. It is also influenced by maternal size, blood volume, and whether or not the mother has a "singleton pregnancy" or a "multiple pregnancy."

My doctor assured me that since my due date had changed, the lab results were invalid. The lab results with the corrected due date showed a normal, healthy baby. I was a little panicked (okay, a lot panicked) because my due date had not changed! When I brought this up to the doc, he discovered that the lab had transposed 2 digits in my due date. Instead of "10 Sept 2008", they originally had me due "01 Sept 2008."

Wow! What a difference 10 days makes, huh? And why do you suppose the lab didn't just throw out their error? Maybe for the fun of having a grown man, who served 2 tours in Iraq, crap himself?

So, to conclude this rather lengthy note, I guess the "Cliff Notes" version of my doctor's appointment would read:

"You are having a baby with Down's Syndrome.... Just kidding- you're just having a girl! (Or, a boy with a really small phallus...)"


To be continued after my ultrasound appointment, April 30th...